via reflectionof.me
via reflectionof.me
"Now, the freebie T-shirt has a time and a place: when you are home by yourself, drunk, and probably not wearing any pants."
Casual Style Killer – Freebie T-shirt
The freebie T-shirt is not an outfit, just like a piece of toilet paper is not a towel.
Do you have a closet full of free T-shirts from every convention or sponsored event you’ve ever attended? Do you incorporate those logo emblazoned over sized throw-aways as part of your wardrobe? Stop.
Now, the freebie T-shirt has a time and a place: when you are home by yourself, drunk, and probably not wearing any pants. Or at the gym while you’re grunting, sweating and oozing with so much testosterone that no one notices that you’re wearing a freebie t-shirt. Savor those precious moments and move on with your fashion life.
Tricking you into thinking that they’re wearable garments, oversized, box with arms, free t-shirts pass those traits onto the you when wearing and nefariously accumulate in your closet and drawers leaving you little room for real clothes. Don’t fall into the trap – select 5 of your favorite free T’s (never to be worn outside the house) and toss the rest to make room for stuff that actually looks good on you, like these Zara basic-but-not-bland T-shirts.
via amansworldco.com
I'm Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY MIKE LACHER
- - - -
Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
via mcsweeneys.net
15 Jun
Help Me Make it Rain!
Posted by The Lone Wolf in help wanted, yes!. 1 Comment
Money may not to buy you class, but you know what it can buy you? A whole bunch of badass crap that makes you happier than a pig in shit. I’m tired of being poor. That’s why I’ve decided I need to think of some more money making schemes ASAP. I have yet to receive one offer for my Friends For Hire business, which I think is bullshit since it’s a brilliant idea, but whatever. Below are couple of other side businesses I think RVA would benefit from quite nicely:
Essay Writing. I’m a fairly decent writer and already have a ton of old college and graduate school papers written and ready for your use! My services were employed several times during my tenure as a college student. (Go Duke Dogs!) Want me write about symbolism in the Scarlet Letter? Not a problem. Maybe you’re a bit more advanced and need a 30 page paper on magical realism in African literature? Look no further, because I’m your girl. Papers can also be custom written for an additional fee. Grade A! Trust!
No Bieber, No Problem! Are you tired of listening to same terrible top 40 songs and feeling like you have no soul or taste? I’m not writing music reviews over there at Pitchfork (call me!) or anything, but I fancy myself fairly well versed in non shitty music. We’ll start off easy-like depending on your musical tastes (Modest Mouse, Passion Pit, The Postal Service) and then move on to the good stuff (too many to list) . No Kings of Leon, though. I hate those guys. So, so overated. Anywhoos, you’ll be amazed how much happier you are when you’re not listening to bad music all day at work!
Personal assistant. (No funny business!) I’ll come over for a nominal fee and do all the things you hate to do! If you’re anything like me these tasks include, but are not limited to, walking your dogs, laundry and checking your mail. I’ll also run a various assortment of errands for you but none that involve me leaving the five mile radius of the Fan. Sorry, a girl’s gotta have standards!
Cockney Tutor. (The accent! No funny business!) Want to trick people when you’re out that you work for BP Oil just to see their reaction? Then look no further because my skills will have you convincing people that you’re “awfully sorry about that Gulf!” in three sessions, money back not guaranteed!
If you’re interested in any of the above mentioned services, becoming an investor, my rich boyfriend or just all around super generous person who likes to donate money to the less fortunate, hit me up at cafedarkness@gmail.com!
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