via my stepmother.
Creative Puns for Educated Minds
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was --
--Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, --
--but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker, --
--but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class --
--because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder --
--and got a little behind in his work.. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, --
--it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road --
--and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France --
--would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. --
--They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. --
--Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. --
--The police are looking into it.. 12. Atheism --
--is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. --
--One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.--
-- Then, it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, --
--'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.--
-- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road --
--is poultry in motion. 18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison --
--was a small medium at large. 19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray --
--is now a seasoned veteran. 20. A backward poet --
--writes inverse. 21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. --
--In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 22. When cannibals ate a missionary, --
--they got a taste of religion. 23. Don't join dangerous cults: --
--Practice safe sects !
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Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.5.435 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2679 - Release Date: 02/10/10 07:40:00